a24’s new streaming service is literally just for disassociating and i’m so tired

tw: capitalism, curated despair, jeremy strong

i am unwell. like, my nervous system has filed for divorce from the rest of my body. and it’s because a24, the literal factory of beautiful, devastating vibes, just sent an email—which is violence, btw—announcing their new streaming service, ‘hush.’ and it has sent me into a full-blown regulation spiral.

it’s not for movies. no, that would be, like, way too much plot. hush is a subscription service offering ‘ambient emotional experiences.’ for $14.99 a month, you can access channels of long-form, non-narrative content designed to be a ‘safe container for your existential dread.’ i am not making this up. the launch channels include ‘gentle grief (a six-hour loop of rain on a brutalist windowpane),’ ‘the quiet panic of an unanswered text (a static shot of a phone screen on a crumpled duvet),’ and my personal fave, ‘nostalgia for a past you never had (blurry, super 8 footage of an empty playground at golden hour).’

and because this timeline is literally toxic, they’ve appointed a chief method officer for melancholy. it’s jeremy strong. in the press release, he said he spent six months living as a wilting houseplant to “authentically embody the cellular resonance of quiet decay” needed to curate the platform’s flagship experience, ‘loam.’ he said it’s about “holding space for the entropic truth of our shared capitalist trauma.” i had to lie down after reading that.

so now, on top of everything else, i have to perform the emotional labor of choosing the correct vibe for my nightly collapse? it's exhausting. do i pair my seasonal depression with ‘suburban ennui’ or ‘coastal grandmother but she’s haunted?’ it’s just another checklist item for my already shattered executive function.

i guess if we’re being forced to aestheticize our own collapse, we might as well do it right. i’ve been curating a list of essentials for the perfect somatic release on my amazon storefront. think weighted blankets that feel like a hug from a non-toxic partner, artisanal tissues that won't chap your face, and this amazing SAD lamp that makes crying feel… cinematic. you can find it all here, if you have the energy to click.

i’m going to go stare at a wall now. a24 will probably try to sell that back to me next month.