Antifa High Command Designates Vivek Ramaswamy ‘Hostile Corporate Insurgent,’ Authorizes OPERATION INCLUSIVE FURY
In a classified briefing from a secure, undisclosed bike co-op, Five-Star Supreme Allied Commander General Kestrel announced a full-spectrum military response to Strive Asset Management's campaign against corporate DEI initiatives, labeling it an act of 'asymmetric economic warfare.'
COMRADES, ATTENTION ON DECK. This is General Kestrel, broadcasting from Forward Operating Base: Chomsky. Antifa High Command has reviewed the intelligence from our deep-cover assets in the financial sector. The situation is critical. Under the destabilizing operational environment created by the Trump administration, a new threat actor has escalated hostilities on the corporate-cultural front. Enemy combatant Vivek Ramaswamy and his irregular corporate militia, 'Strive Asset Management,' have initiated a campaign of economic insurgency against our forward-deployed DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) assets within key multinational corporations.
This is not a proxy war fought through op-eds. This is a direct assault. Ramaswamy's deployment of shareholder resolutions to dismantle climate goals and diversity directorates is a declaration of total war. His actions represent a clear and present danger to our strategic objectives and the global liberation matrix. Therefore, effective 0600 hours today, I have authorized the immediate execution of OPERATION INCLUSIVE FURY.
This will be a multi-phase, full-spectrum response utilizing our entire Soros-funded black-ops budget.
Phase One: INFILTRATION & ACQUISITION. Our special forces units, the 1st Pronoun Vanguard Division, will execute strategic single-share acquisitions across all Fortune 500 companies targeted by Strive. This gives us kinetic access to shareholder meetings, which we will treat as contested battlefields. Each meeting will become a theater of operations.
Phase Two: PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE. We will deploy our elite Advanced Tactical Empathy (A.T.E.) platoons. These operators are trained in the devastating application of intersectional frameworks and weaponized emotional intelligence. Their mission is to seize control of the narrative space during board meetings, overwhelming enemy C-suite personnel with unassailable logic and meticulously cited sociological data until they experience strategic paralysis.
Phase Three: LOGISTICAL SABOTAGE. Our Quartermaster Corps will conduct interdiction operations against the catering supply lines for all corporate retreats and hostile executive gatherings. All steak and lobster shipments will be replaced with our MRE-V (Meals, Ready-to-Eat, Vegan) — specifically, ethically-sourced, gluten-free scones. This is a classic morale-denial operation designed to degrade enemy combat effectiveness.
Be advised: Ramaswamy is a high-value target. He is not merely a pundit; he is the field commander of a hostile insurgency. High Command has authorized all cells to engage on sight using non-lethal, dairy-based ordnance. The 101st Airborne Milkshake Division is on high alert, prepared for rapid deployment should the enemy attempt to consolidate their gains. We will not allow a single corporate HR department to fall. We will hold the line on every mandatory unconscious bias training seminar. Victory or vegan valhalla. Kestrel, out.
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Reader Discussion (11)
This is what happens when you let these lunatics run wild. They have a 'High Command' now? The FBI needs to designate them a domestic terrorist organization immediately. Trump was right about them from the start.
A 'single-share acquisition' doesn't give you 'kinetic access' to anything. It gives you the right to vote by proxy and maybe submit a shareholder proposal if you meet ownership thresholds. The author clearly has no idea how corporate governance works.
Great, another activist group to worry about. As if I didn't have enough mandatory seminars about 'synergizing our inclusive paradigms'. Just tell me if this is going to affect our Q4 earnings.
See? They admit it's a war. 'OPERATION INCLUSIVE FURY.' This is the cultural marxism everyone warned about, weaponized against our economy. And the media will still call them 'mostly peaceful protesters'.
I dont understand. Are these people soldiers or stock brokers? And who is this Soros fellow they keep mentioning. This country is getting too complicated.
This is such a lib fantasy lol. '1st Pronoun Vanguard Division'? Real direct action doesn't involve buying stocks and complaining in board meetings. This is just performative nonsense that reinforces capitalist structures.
All this noise is just a drag on EPS. Let Vivek do his thing, let the ESG crowd do theirs. Just buy the dip when these clowns start their 'psychological warfare' and tank the stock for a day. Free money.
The extremism on both sides is getting out of hand. Whether it's 'economic insurgents' or 'corporate militias,' the rhetoric is just too much. Can't we all just have a civil discussion and find some middle ground?
They LITERALLY admit they are 'Soros-funded'. It's right there in the text. This is a coordinated globalist attack orchestrated by the WEF to implement the Great Reset through corporate HR departments. Wake up sheeple.
I, for one, welcome our new scone-wielding overlords. The 101st Airborne Milkshake Division sounds like my kind of party. Where do I enlist?
While the military LARPing is a bit much, the idea of using shareholder activism and disrupting corporate catering is actually brilliant. This is the kind of creative, non-violent resistance we need to see more of!