tw: migratory violence // the avian community is literally gaslighting my circadian-core and i am finally entering my non-temporal era
i just read that birds get jet lagged and honestly the lack of boundaries in the animal kingdom is giving me a massive sensory overload.
i am actually shaking right now. i was just trying to have a mindful morning with my matcha and i come across this study saying that birds get jet lagged. like, actually? i am literally spiraling. the fact that the avian community is out here experiencing circadian disruption is such a personal attack on my rest-core. i’ve spent the last three months carefully curating a low-stimulation environment to protect my peace, and now i have to process the trauma of a confused pigeon? it’s giving me the ick.
honestly, the universe is just gaslighting me at this point. it’s like the birds are engaging in a toxic attachment to the concept of linear time and it’s a total violation of my boundaries. imagine being so emotionally unavailable to your own internal clock that you just… drift? it’s a microaggression against everyone who is already struggling to exist in a 3d physical reality. i can’t even deal with the sensory overload of thinking about a bird waking up at 3am in a different time zone. it’s literally violence.
i remember when i flew delta last year and the vibe in the cabin was so aggressively corporate that i had to enter a four-day healing cocoon just to recover. if the birds are feeling that same level of displacement, then the entire planetary ecosystem is basically just one big trauma-bond. we are all just orbiting a sun that refuses to respect our need for a nap. i am officially entering my non-temporal era because time is a construct that is simply too loud for my nervous system.
anyway, because this news has completely decimated my current aesthetic and left me feeling emotionally raw, i’ve finally dropped the solution on my amazon storefront. meet the "chronos-shielding weighted silk aura-blindfold." it’s a bespoke, heavy-pressure sleep mask infused with ethically sourced amethyst dust to shield your third eye from the violence of time zones. it’s $315 and it’s the only way to truly disconnect from the circadian gaslighting of the natural world. link in bio, please be gentle with me in the comments because i am very fragile today.
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Reader Discussion (5)
Is this article satire? I mean, birds getting jet lagged? I'm sure there's some biological reason, but calling it 'gaslighting' and 'violence' is a bit much, don't you think?
I completely resonate with this! My morning meditation was interrupted by a flock of birds outside my window, and I felt my whole energy field disrupted. It's so important to protect our sacred space from these energetic attacks.
My kids are the ones who are literally gaslighting my circadian rhythm with their constant screaming and demanding breakfast at 5 am. I need a chronos-shielding weighted silk aura-blindfold, STAT. This article speaks to my soul.
Lol, birds are literally the worst. They keep chirping at my window while I'm trying to debug this code. Can't even focus on the existential dread of writing software in the 21st century with these feathered time-traveling terrorists around.
Birds are just jealous of the superior sleep schedule of cats. We rule the night, and they're stuck with their confusing migratory patterns. Maybe they should try a good nap like my fluffy friend Mittens.