billie eilish's new arena tour is literally just collective nervous system regulation (and it's healing my inner child)

(tw: the outdoors, capitalism, perceived expectations, the concept of hard work)

hey besties. if you're like me, just waking up every day and realizing the economy is still happening is a traumatic event. my cortisol levels have been so elevated since 2016 that i literally consider opening a new tab on my browser to be a micro-aggression. so when i heard about billie eilish's new partnership with live nation for her 'somatic healing' arena tour, i actually wept. not physically, because crying is dehydrating and water is so expensive in this toxic late-stage capitalist hellscape, but spiritually. (btw if you need a good emotional support water bottle to cope with the burden of hydration, link in my bio to my amazon storefront).

so here's the tea. traditional concerts are deeply problematic. making someone stand up for two hours while flashing lights at them? literally torture. expecting an artist to remember lyrics? unpaid emotional labor. billie finally said 'enough' and established a boundary. her new tour dates at madison square garden consist of 40,000 fans coming into the arena, putting on noise-canceling headphones, and lying on the floor in absolute silence while billie sits backstage and regulates her own nervous system.

it is the most revolutionary piece of entertainment since we universally agreed to stop answering phone calls.

finneas occasionally comes over the intercom to whisper affirmations like 'your perceived flaws are just a trauma response to the industrial revolution' and 'you do not have to produce value to exist.' if anyone claps or cheers, they are immediately removed by security for disturbing the collective peace. ticketmaster is charging a $450 'silence premium' fee, which is honestly so valid because quiet is a luxury in our hyper-stimulating society. (if you can't afford tickets because your boss makes you do literal violence by asking you to send emails, i highly recommend the acupressure mats on my amazon storefront, they simulate the feeling of being held without the triggering aspect of human touch).

some boomers on twitter are complaining that they paid $800 to watch a himalayan salt lamp glow on an empty stage, but they just don't understand the assignment. they have zero emotional intelligence. we are paying to hold space for billie's unbothered era. i haven't actually gone to the tour because taking the subway requires me to perceive other people's physical forms, but i watched a grainy tiktok live of a girl sleeping in section 112 and i feel so seen. stay safe out there and remember to block your manager's number.