this is, like, a trigger warning for your entire existence

it's literally so draining to just *be* right now. the vibes are so deeply toxic. the economy is in its villain era, and my nervous system is, like, fully disassociated. every day i wake up and have to consciously choose not to catastrophize, which is a full time job with no pto. so when i heard that biohacking king bryan johnson was upgrading his 'project blueprint,' i was honestly here for it. a new protocol to escape the bad vibes? sign me up.

but omg, you guys. this isn't just about, like, eating almonds or whatever. this is the 'progeny protocol.' after the whole blood-boy era with his son, talmage, felt a little cringe, he's apparently decided the next step in reversing the trauma of aging is to… fully absorb his son's consciousness. i am not okay.

it's being framed as 'generational energetic alignment.' they're not just swapping plasma anymore; they're synchronizing their literal brainwaves through some new neural interface so bryan can 'download the uncorrupted vitality of youth.' the goal, according to a leaked deck that i literally couldn't even finish reading without needing my weighted blanket (check my storefront for my fave!), is 'total cellular and memetic assimilation.' he's trying to overwrite his own traumatic lived experience with his son's. he calls aging 'the original trauma' and this is his version of emdr, i guess?

i just… can we unpack this? this is the final boss of extractive capitalism. boomers and gen x took the housing market and the planet, and now they are literally coming for our interiority. our un-traumatized (lol, jk) brain chemistry is the last natural resource they have left to colonize. talmage is doing the ultimate unpaid internship: being a vibe donor for his own dad.

tbh, we all need to, like, set some serious boundaries with the wellness-industrial complex. it's not enough to just optimize our bodies; now we have to defend our literal life force from being bio-jacked. i'm just so tired. i need everyone to protect their energy. maybe start with some blackout curtains and a good electrolyte powder to restore your vital essence. i've linked the ones that give me the least anxiety on my amazon page. stay safe out there. it's a lot.