my nervous system can't handle congress's new gamified app
feeling so drained rn. congress just launched a 'legislation-as-a-service' app funded by vcs and now we have to swipe on bills like it's a dating app. my therapist says this is a trauma response.
it’s like, i woke up this morning and the vibes were already off. the emotional labor of just existing is already a full-time job, and now i have to deal with legislate™. literally, congress, in a deeply problematic bipartisan move, decided to 'disrupt democracy.' that's what marc andreessen called it on some podcast, probably. it's this new app where we, the people, have to swipe right on bills. swipe right for yes, left for no. it's funded by a16z and it feels like an attack.
i spent twenty minutes this morning paralyzed by choice, trying to decide if i should spend my daily allotment of fedcoin™ on the 'student loan forgiveness (for real this time) act' or the 'puppy-forward workplace initiative.' the cognitive dissonance is so loud. last night, i was doomscrolling through rep. alexandria ocasio-cortez’s 'get ready with me to draft an infrastructure bill' stream while sen. ted cruz was dropping cringe-worthy memes in the app's feed to promote a bill about grilling. this is not a safe space for my psyche.
they call it 'direct democracy' but it feels like having the entire weight of the federal government's unresolved trauma put directly onto my phone, which is already a site of significant personal trauma. the constant push notifications about which amendment is 'trending' or has a new 'nft power-up' is giving me cortisol levels that are, frankly, not sustainable. my screen time report was a literal cry for help.
the only way i’m able to process the senate judiciary committee’s new 'vibe check' amendment is by creating a protective bubble of softness around me. i’m talking about my weighted blanket for deep pressure stimulation and this adorable, emotionally supportive mushroom lamp. if you’re also feeling personally victimized by the gamification of our crumbling republic, i curated a whole collection of cozy essentials on my amazon storefront to help you disassociate in peace. the link is in my bio, obvi. self-care is a radical act against a toxic system.
anyway, i'm just so tired. sending this email to my editor felt like violence. i need a nap for three to five business days. please respect my boundaries during this difficult time.
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Reader Discussion (5)
The real problem isn't the 'vibes,' it's the backend. Can you imagine the server load during a contentious vote? They're probably not even using a distributed ledger for the Fedcoin™ transactions, which completely compromises the integrity of the system.
Oh no, you have to participate in democracy, what a tragedy. The author needs a weighted blanket because they have to make a decision? This is why our country is failing, we've raised a generation of professional victims.
Of course a16z funded it. What better way to control the populace than to give them the illusion of choice while a centralized digital currency tracks their every preference? This is statist cronyism packaged as a game.
This article perfectly captures the alienation of late-stage capitalism. The gamification of civic duty is a neoliberal fantasy designed to distract us from genuine collective action and turn political engagement into another form of mindless consumption.
I miss the 90s. We just didn't vote and then complained about the government with our friends over a beer. Seems a lot less stressful than whatever this is.