tw: narrative tension // disney+ just launched 'cortisol-sync' and i am finally entering my zero-conflict era

i need everyone to collectively take a deep breath because i am actually shaking right now. for too long, we have been forced to endure the literal violence of "storytelling." like, why is it acceptable that we are expected to sit through a movie with a plot? the concept of a "rising action" or a "climax" is honestly so toxic and aggressive. my nervous system simply cannot handle the perceived effort of wondering if the protagonist will succeed. it’s giving systemic oppression.

so, i am literally ascending because bob iger finally decided to hold space for us. disney+ just dropped 'cortisol-sync,' and i am officially in my healing era. basically, you link your apple watch or oura ring to the app, and the ai monitors your stress levels in real-time. if the movie starts to get too intense—like, if a character starts an argument or there's a sudden plot twist (tw: unexpected change)—the algorithm instantly rewrites the scene on the fly to be completely neutral.

i tried watching *the lion king* with it enabled and instead of that traumatic scene with mufasa, the ai just turned it into a forty-minute sequence of simba and mufasa taking a mindful walk through a pastel meadow while discussing their boundaries. i actually sobbed. the relief of not having to process grief in a capitalist economy is honestly everything.

honestly, the idea that we should "work" through a story is just another extension of the toxic productivity culture that has ruined our lives. why am i performing emotional labor for a fictional character? it's exhausted. i cannot be expected to engage with narrative tension when the cost of living is literally an act of aggression. i just want to exist in a sensory void where nothing happens and no one is challenged.

if you guys are also struggling with the violence of existing, please check out my amazon storefront for the weighted lavender eye masks i use to block out the physical world while i sync my cortisol levels. we have to protect our peace at all costs because the world is literally a jump-scare.