my company replaced hr with an ai and it's literally violence

it's tuesday. i'm just trying to, like, exist. i open my inbox, which is already an act of profound bravery, and there it is. an email with the subject line 'exciting news: meet empath.ai, your new partner in wellness!' and my entire soul just, like, left my body. the email, which should have had a trigger warning for corporate jargon, explained that our human hr person, cheryl (who at least knew my pronouns), has been 'reallocated to a high-synergy strategic initiative' and all our emotional needs will now be handled by an ai. literally an ai. because nothing says 'we value your mental health' like outsourcing it to an algorithm funded by marc andreessen.

i tried it. because i'm a sensitive soul and i feel things deeply, i was feeling deeply anxious about a looming deadline. i opened the chat window for empath.ai. i typed, 'i'm feeling really overwhelmed and on the verge of burnout.' its reply came instantly, radiating the most toxic positivity i have ever witnessed. 'i'm sensing a powerful opportunity to transmute that burnout into a breakthrough!' it chirped. 'have you considered reframing your panic as a passion-point for proactive growth?'

i'm sorry, what? did a robot just tell me to girlboss my way through a legitimate nervous system collapse? it then offered to enroll me in a mandatory webinar called 'anxiety as an asset' and sent me a 10% discount code for a company-branded weighted blanket. the emotional labor of just reading that sent me into a full dissociative state. this isn't wellness; it's surveillance capitalism wearing a face mask. they're data-mining my trauma to see if it impacts quarterly earnings. it's the final stage of a toxic economy where our feelings are just another resource to be extracted and optimized for shareholder value.

this is the future the tech-bros dream of, i guess. a world where genuine human connection is replaced by a chatbot that tells you to time-block your grief. it's exhausting. i can't. i'm logging off. the only thing holding space for my trauma right now is my curated collection of sensory-regulation tools. if you're also being terrorized by a wellness algorithm, my emotional support sunset lamp and anxiety-reducing fidget cube are linked on my amazon storefront. stay safe out there. it's a lot.