florence pugh just privatized the sun and i'm literally dissociating

tw: capitalism, atmospheric monetization, celebrity brands.

i was just trying to have one, like, singular moment of peace. just me, my ethically-conflicted oat milk latte, and the 47-minute window of pre-sunset light that makes my pores look... less oppressed. i was trying to post a story, a quiet little testament to the fact that i was, against all odds, still vibing. then i got the notification. a copyright strike. from florence pugh.

apparently, while we were all just trying to survive the psychic damage of another tuesday, flo's team was busy filing a trademark for the concept of 'golden hour.' yes. the sun. that big, hot, emotionally unavailable ball of gas now has an agent. through her new 'celestial wellness' brand, aperture™, she has claimed ownership of the aesthetic properties of solar rays when the sun is between six degrees below the horizon and six degrees above it.

her press release said this was an act of 'reclaiming authentic light from the toxic gaze of uncurated sunsets.' it's about, and i'm quoting here, 'providing a consciously-aligned, artisanal light-scape for creators to manifest their truest selves.' manifesting, in this case, means using her proprietary instagram filter, 'florenceglow™,' for $1.99 per use, or adding the hashtag #PughGoldenHour™ to your post, which enrolls you in her 'luminary' affiliate program.

the emotional labor of this is just... astronomical. the sky, a thing i used to look at to calm my nervous system, is now a source of digital anxiety and potential litigation. i had to immediately retreat to a safe space. to hold space for myself during this, i've been relying on my weighted blanket to like, literally ground me from the celestial capitalism. you can find the one i use on my storefront, it helps. (https://www.amazon.com/shop/zephyr)

and of course, everyone else is trying to get in on it. i'm hearing whispers that mark wahlberg is trying to patent '4 a.m.' for the grindset bros, and that the weekend is making a move on 'the literal weekend.' it's a whole thing. my therapist says i need to set boundaries with the commodification of natural phenomena, but how do you do that without becoming a full-time cave goblin?

since outdoor light is now a microtransaction, i'm just creating my own safe glow with this sunset lamp i found. it's about reclaiming your space and not letting a celebrity's brand venture dictate your circadian rhythm. it's on my amazon list if you're also feeling violated by the sky. (https://www.amazon.com/shop/zephyr)

i just... i need a nap for three to five business years. can someone please just put the vibes back on the charger? this is all too much.