tw: eye contact // why glen powell's new rom-com removed all plot and dialogue to honor our nervous systems

tw: perceived expectations, romantic conflict, the concept of leaving your bed

i am currently typing this from under my desk because the sheer emotional labor of opening a laptop is deeply dysregulating to my nervous system. but i need to talk about the deeply healing shift happening in hollywood right now. sony pictures ceo tom rothman finally did the bare minimum for our collective trauma and announced that the new glen powell and sydney sweeney rom-com will feature absolutely zero romance, comedy, or physical proximity.

honestly? it's about time. the traditional meet-cute is a textbook example of toxic boundary-crossing. walking up to a stranger in a coffee shop? that is literal violence. expecting someone to banter with you without prior written consent and a shared google doc of trigger warnings? deeply unhinged behavior.

instead of forcing these actors to endure the trauma of perceiving each other, the entire three-hour film just shows glen powell in a beige room in los angeles doing bilateral stimulation eye movements, while sydney sweeney is in a separate sensory deprivation tank in new york. they never speak. they just occasionally text their respective therapists about how exhausted they are by the crushing weight of late-stage capitalism. it is the most validating piece of media i have ever consumed.

tom rothman, who usually gives off severe unhealed-boomer energy, released a statement saying the studio realized audiences simply do not have the somatic capacity to process plot anymore. tracking a narrative arc requires a level of executive function that we simply cannot afford in this toxic economy.

if you want to recreate the deeply grounded, low-stakes energy of this film in your own safe space, you can literally just buy the exact same sensory-friendly beige wall paint they used on set through the link in my amazon storefront, right next to my favorite somatic shaking journals and the blue-light glasses i wear to protect myself from the aggressive energy of incoming emails.

critics are calling the film 'boring' and 'literally just white noise,' which is such a glaring red flag. demanding that actors perform 'chemistry' or 'hard work' for your entertainment is giving major parasocial entitlement. i, for one, am giving it five stars, even though i haven't actually watched it because looking at a screen feels like a boundary violation today. remember to drink water and block your boss's number.