the government is trying to vibe-check the planet and i'm literally dissociating
um, so basically the world is ending but instead of doing anything real about it, the government has decided to gaslight the literal atmosphere. feeling v triggered rn.
i'm just... so tired. my therapist told me i need to set boundaries but how am i supposed to do that with the *sky*? sending an email is a violent act but apparently broadcasting forced good vibes across the entire planet is just, like, foreign policy now. i can't.
at a press conference that felt like a collective trauma event, president trump announced a new partnership with, and i am not making this up, the data surveillance company palantir. the project is called the 'global resonance and atmospheric wellness' initiative, or graw. the goal is to stop climate change by... raising the planet's vibrational frequency. i'm not okay.
standing next to palantir ceo alex karp at mar-a-lago, president trump explained that we have 'the best vibes' and that we're going to share them with the world. 'it’s a frequency thing, a beautiful frequency, the best,' he said. 'the planet is very sad, very low energy. we’re going to make it happy again.' this is actual atmospheric gaslighting. you can't just tell the earth to 'cheer up' when it's literally running a fever from centuries of industrial trauma.
alex karp, who looked like he was trying to solve a very complex math problem in his head, said palantir's apollo platform would be used to 'harmonize global sentiment vectors' and 're-tune earth's schumann resonance to a more prosperous-facing paradigm.' it's just so much corporate jargon to say they're going to use spy tech to force toxic positivity on clouds. the audacity is exhausting.
scientists are, like, obviously screaming into the void about this, but their vibes are apparently 'not constructive.' meanwhile, other countries are fully spiraling. france is calling it 'an act of profound unseriousness,' which is the most french way to say 'what the actual f—k.'
the emotional labor of just having to exist through this is honestly too much. this is a planetary-scale boundary violation. to protect my own energy field from this state-sanctioned psychic attack, i'm basically building a faraday cage in my apartment. if you're also feeling the crushing weight of a government trying to manifest away our problems, my amazon storefront has some essentials.
these orgonite pyramids are, like, essential for cleansing the federally-mandated frequencies from your space (amzn.to/zephyr-vibes). and i literally cannot survive without these blackout curtains, which create a safe little sensory deprivation cocoon (amzn.to/zephyr-hides). for the inevitable existential dread, this weighted blanket feels like a hug from a universe that isn't actively trying to manipulate your aura (amzn.to/zephyr-cries).
anyway, i'm going to go lie on the floor for a few hours to process this. pls stay safe and protect your energy. the vibes are... a lot rn.
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Reader Discussion (8)
The author clearly doesn't understand physics. The Schumann resonances are a set of spectrum peaks in the ELF portion of the Earth's electromagnetic field. You can't just 're-tune' them, and a simple Faraday cage in an apartment wouldn't block them anyway.
This is bullish for $PLTR. 'Harmonizing global sentiment vectors' is just a fancy way of describing a massive, untapped data market. They're not selling vibes, they're selling planetary-scale data analysis, and the government is buying.
The liberal media will mock anything President Trump does because they are low-energy and sad! He is using American innovation to solve problems instead of useless carbon taxes. This is about POSITIVITY and they can't stand it.
'Global Resonance' is obviously a cover for a mass mind-control project. They're not raising the planet's frequency, they're lowering OURS to make us more compliant. This is HAARP 2.0.
The article starts with 'my therapist told me' and ends with Amazon affiliate links. I think we can safely disregard the author's opinion on geopolitics and atmospheric science.
Honestly, at this point, why not? Let the spy-tech nerds try to force the clouds to be happy. Nothing else has worked. At least it's a creative way to go out.
Must be nice to have the time to worry about 'vibrational frequencies' and your 'aura.' Some of us are more concerned with gas prices and whether we can afford groceries this week.
This is a masterclass in securing a government contract. You can't measure the outcome, the goal is completely abstract, and it requires proprietary technology. Palantir's lobbyists deserve a raise.