I Put My Cleavage on Display So You'd Read About Miami's Impending Submergence. You're Welcome.

The canapés here are exquisite. It is a small consolation as I stand in a taxpayer-subsidized convention center that, according to the Southeast Florida Regional Climate Change Compact's projections, will likely require scuba gear for entry by 2070. I am, of course, at the BP 'Ocean Resilience Summit,' an event that represents a pinnacle of corporate satire so profound it borders on performance art.

Let’s discuss the data, since that is my job. The tide gauge at Virginia Key, just a few miles from here, shows a clear and accelerating rate of sea-level rise. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), we are no longer talking about linear projections. The rate of rise has more than doubled since the 1990s, a direct consequence of thermal expansion and ice melt driven by anthropogenic greenhouse gas emissions. The most recent IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) AR6 report confirms that even under moderate emissions scenarios, Miami faces catastrophic, recurrent flooding within the lifetime of a 30-year mortgage taken out today.

Meanwhile, a BP executive is on stage discussing the company's 'ambition' to become a 'net-zero company by 2050.' This is the same British Petroleum whose own internal documents show they have understood the catastrophic consequences of their business model for decades. It is the same company that, according to InfluenceMap, has consistently lobbied to weaken or eliminate binding climate legislation globally. Their PowerPoint slide deck features smiling dolphins.

And yes, for those of you who clicked because of the thumbnail, this is the part where I lament that my doctorate in atmospheric science is apparently less compelling than my décolletage. My editor insisted on a 'provocative' headshot for this dispatch. Apparently, the slow-motion collapse of our biosphere isn't provocative enough. The numbers—like the 35.2 gigatonnes of CO2 equivalent BP has emitted since 1965, making them one of history's top corporate polluters—just don't have the same market appeal as putting the girls on the front page. So here we are. I hope you're enjoying the view while the foundation of coastal civilization cracks beneath our feet.

The entire summit is a masterclass in distraction. We are treated to panels on 'innovative blue carbon solutions' and 'sustainable marine infrastructure' while studiously avoiding any mention of the primary driver of ocean warming and acidification: the continued extraction and combustion of fossil fuels. It is like attending a 'Lung Health Symposium' sponsored by Philip Morris. It is a waking nightmare from which I cannot seem to escape. Please, read the NOAA data. Read the IPCC reports. Do it before the only 'blue carbon solution' left for Miami is its own drowned infrastructure.