my nervous system is not a startup incubator

trigger warning: hustle culture, unsolicited productivity advice, jason calacanis.

i just need to, like, name the energy in the room. existing is a lot right now. the vibes are deeply unwell. i just received an email—which is, you know, its own act of violence—from my boss. it was about a new mandatory wellness protocol at work, and i am literally dissociating.

it's called the 'calacanis cadence.' apparently, the vc guy jason calacanis has decided that sleep is an under-monetized asset class. so he's promoting this new system for 'dream-state ideation.' it's a sleek little iv drip you hook up to before bed. and it micro-doses you with, and i feel sick even typing this, caffeine and adrenal supplements all night. the goal is to stop you from entering 'unproductive deep sleep' and instead keep you in a state of semi-lucid brainstorming.

my dreams are now just zoom meetings about synergy. last night i dreamt i was onboarding myself into my own subconscious, and the wifi was bad. i woke up more exhausted than when i went to bed. i am tired of performing productivity while i'm literally unconscious. my nervous system did not consent to being a 24/7 pitch meeting.

this is neurological colonization. my dreamscape was my last safe space, and now it's been gentrified by key performance indicators. we are just so deep in the economy's villain era that we're being asked to grind in other dimensions.

i'm trying to reclaim my peace. it's a radical act of resistance to just... rest. my therapist says i need to create boundaries, not just with people, but with entire economic systems. so i'm focusing on radical softness. after i log off from my dream-work, i've been holding this heated plushie sloth i found. it's the only thing that's been able to, like, de-optimize my traumatized spirit. you can find it on my storefront if you're also trying to survive this whole... thing. link in bio, obviously.