elon musk’s neuralink is trying to cure the cringe and honestly? that’s my villain origin story
so elon musk just announced neuralink's first human trial isn't for like, actual physical stuff, but to cure a terminal case of 'the ick.' this is literally erasing our most valid trauma response to a deeply problematic world. we need to talk about this.
tw: elon musk, unsolicited medical opinions, capitalism. okay, so i am literally so tired. i just opened the timeline and saw that elon musk is using neuralink to cure… cringe. i’m not even kidding. the first human trial for his little brain computer is for a condition they’re calling 'debilitating secondhand embarrassment,' or dse. apparently, the first patient is someone whose nervous system is so overwhelmed by watching videos of failed proposals and politicians trying to dance that they can no longer function. and like, i just… can’t. this is so much to hold. cringe is not a bug, it’s a feature. it’s your body’s completely valid trauma response telling you that a situation is not safe. that the vibes are deeply off. it’s the spiritual armor we wear to survive a world full of toxic bosses who say 'let's circle back' and relatives who post minions memes on facebook. elon musk wants to pathologize this? he wants to install a chip that silences the alarm bells in your soul so you can just, what, smile vacantly through a mandatory team-building exercise? so you can consume problematic content without your body literally trying to protect you? this is the final stage of late-stage capitalism: optimizing our brains to be more compliant. they don’t want you to feel the ick when your landlord raises your rent for the third time. they want you to feel nothing. they want to take our most authentic, human reaction to a deeply broken world and label it a disorder. if reading this is activating your fight-or-flight response, please know you’re not alone and your feelings are so valid. i’m literally holding space for all of us right now by wrapping myself in my favorite weighted blanket, which you can find on my amazon storefront. i also find that my sunset lamp really helps regulate my circadian rhythm when the news cycle has completely dysregulated my nervous system (also linked). we have to protect our cringe. it’s our most sacred boundary. it’s the last defense we have against the girlboss-gaslight-gatekeep industrial complex. stay safe out there. i’m logging off.
Reader Discussion (3)
This entire article is built on a false premise. Neuralink's stated goal for first-in-human trials is restoring function for quadriplegics. 'Debilitating secondhand embarrassment' isn't a recognized neurological condition, this is just poorly researched ragebait.
I don't know who's more annoying, the billionaire trying to sell us brain chips or the blogger trying to sell us weighted blankets via an Amazon storefront. Can we just have one day without some new flavor of dystopia being marketed to us?
There's a real business application here for optimizing team dynamics. Imagine a brainstorming session free from the fear of 'cringe' ideas. This could unlock unprecedented levels of innovation and psychological safety in the workplace.