tw: competition // the oscars just replaced trophies with 'vibe validation' certificates and i am finally regulating

tw: achievement, meritocracy, high expectations

i am currently writing this from under my weighted blanket because just thinking about the concept of 'winning' makes me feel like i’m being attacked on a cellular level. like, why are we even pretending that being 'the best' isn't actually a form of systemic violence? the pressure to be an elite performer is literally a trauma response and i am so exhausted by the expectation to exist in a competitive space.

but honestly, i think we’re finally healing because the academy of motion picture arts and sciences just announced they are retiring the gold statues. can you imagine? the sheer audacity of holding a heavy piece of metal that symbolizes your superiority over other artists? it’s giving colonialist energy. instead, they're transitioning to 'vibe validation certificates.' basically, everyone who was nominated gets a holographic piece of parchment that just confirms their presence was valid and their energy was perceived.

i saw Steven Spielberg in the press release and he looked so relieved, like he could finally stop pretending that directing movies isn't just a series of high-stress emails (which are literal war crimes). i am literally shaking just thinking about the amount of cortisol we’ve all been absorbing by watching people compete for a trophy. competition is just a mask for deep-seated insecurity and honestly, it's so toxic.

i’m currently trying to regulate my nervous system by staring at my wall and remembering that productivity is a myth designed to keep us from our true purpose, which is napping in a dimly lit room. if you also feel like your aura is being drained by the mere idea of 'success,' you actually need this lavender-scented sensory deprivation pillow from my amazon storefront—it’s the only thing keeping me tethered to this dimension right now.

the academy also mentioned that the red carpet will be replaced with a 'soft landing zone' consisting of memory foam and low-frequency ambient noise so nobody has to perform 'glamour,' because glamour is just another word for emotional labor. i feel like i can finally breathe. we are collectively entering our era of radical stillness and if anyone tells me to 'strive for excellence,' i will literally have to go no contact with the entire entertainment industry for my own safety. it's just so valid to simply exist without being ranked.