tw: legacy violence // patrick stewart is literally gaslighting my stability-core and i am finally entering my non-linear era
i'm literally shaking because the universe just violated my boundaries by taking away the only man who ever made me feel safe in a sci-fi aesthetic.
i literally cannot even right now. i woke up, tried to do my morning gratitude journaling in my curated mindfulness nook, and then i saw the news about patrick stewart. like, i am actually spiraling. i know some of you are probably like "zephyr, you didn't even know him," but that is such a toxic way of looking at emotional labor. he was a pillar of my stability-core. his voice was the only thing that ever made me feel like the universe wasn't just one giant, loud sensory overload.
honestly, the universe is literally gaslighting me at this point. first my favorite matcha spot changed their syrup brand, and now the patriarch of the entire space-aesthetic is just... gone? it’s a total boundary violation. like, who gave the cosmos permission to disrupt my peace? it’s giving extreme microaggression. i feel like my entire aura has been compromised and i’m currently experiencing a massive flare-up of existential dread that is totally ruining my current soft-girl era. i tried to breathe through it, but the vibes are just completely rancid.
i’m literally in my grieving-core era now, but like, the kind of grief where i can't even look at a telescope without feeling like the stars are judging my lack of emotional regulation. the fact that mortality exists is such an ick. it’s literally the ultimate toxic attachment—being attached to a physical form that just... stops? that is so manipulative of nature. i feel like i'm being emotionally held hostage by the concept of time and i just need everyone to respect my space while i rot in bed for the next three to five business days.
anyway, because my nervous system is literally fried and i’m basically in survival mode, i’ve added a new essential to my amazon storefront to help you all cope with this kind of cosmic trauma. i’m launching the "interstellar aura-shielding sonic-plugs." they’re artisanal, rose-quartz infused, iridescent ear-plugs designed to block out the noise of a crumbling reality while aligning your chakras with a holographic frequency. they’re $285 and only come in "void-black" or "stardust-beige." please buy them so i can afford my weekly somatic experiencing sessions because this day has been a total violation of my mental health.
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Reader Discussion (9)
Dude, this article is giving me major 'millennial burnout' vibes. Get a grip, it's just Patrick Stewart, not the end of the world. Maybe try turning off your notifications for a while and actually *doing* something productive instead of spiraling about cosmic trauma.
I totally get you, Zephyr! Patrick Stewart was such a Libra energy. This is giving me major retrograde vibes, like the universe is trying to teach us something about balance and letting go. We need to lean into the grieving-core and trust that the universe has a plan.
$285 for earplugs? You can get decent noise-canceling headphones for that price! And rose quartz? Just go buy a rock from the garden, it's cheaper and does the same thing!
This is a beautiful exploration of the human experience, Zephyr. Allow yourself to feel the grief, but remember, it's all impermanence. Try a guided meditation on letting go and embracing the flow of life.
Okay, but seriously? Patrick Stewart is gone? That's a bummer, but can we talk about the new Elden Ring DLC instead? This post is giving me major 'too much time on their hands' energy.
This article is so full of woo-woo nonsense. 'Aura-shielding sonic-plugs'? Give me a break. Just because someone famous dies doesn't mean the universe is out to get you. Get some real therapy, not overpriced earplugs.
I can't afford those fancy earplugs, but I've got some old noise-canceling headphones that work great. And for a calming vibe, try a DIY essential oil diffuser with lavender and chamomile. It's way cheaper than whatever those 'sonic-plugs' are!
RIP Patrick Stewart. He was a true legend. I'll miss his voice narrating documentaries about space. But hey, at least we've got amazing telescopes to look at the stars with! Maybe those 'interstellar aura-shielding sonic-plugs' will help me forget about the fact that everything eventually burns out.
Is there a technical reason why Patrick Stewart's death is causing such a stir? I mean, he was an actor, not an engineer. Focus on the real issues, like the lack of affordable housing or the climate crisis.