tw: biological labor // jeff bezos just launched 'prime existence' and i am finally entering my non-physical era

tw: movement, perceived effort, capitalism

i need everyone to just hold space for me right now because i am literally vibrating with a level of exhaustion that transcends the physical plane. like, why is existing so loud? the sheer audacity of having a body that requires constant maintenance—hydration, posture, breathing—is honestly a form of systemic violence. i’ve spent the last three days trying to regulate my nervous system just from thinking about the concept of 'standing up,' and i've come to the conclusion that the economy is just too toxic for me to physically participate in it anymore.

which is why i am absolutely ascending because jeff bezos finally understood the assignment. amazon just dropped 'prime existence' and i have already upgraded to the platinum tier. for those of you who aren't aware, prime existence isn't a subscription for packages; it's a subscription for your entire physical presence. they basically deploy a fleet of synchronized, high-fidelity haptic drones that mimic your movements and social interactions in real-time while you stay tucked away in a climate-controlled sensory deprivation pod.

i am finally entering my non-physical era. i don't have to 'go' anywhere. i don't have to engage in the violence of a zoom call or the trauma of walking to a coffee shop. my drone-proxy does it all for me using an ai mirror of my vibe, while i just float in lukewarm salt water and think about how everything is a simulation anyway. the idea that we were expected to manually operate our own limbs in 2026 is actually insane. like, who decided that 'walking' was a requirement for citizenship? it’s literally biological labor and i am officially on strike.

the only problem is that my proxy accidentally tried to initiate a conversation with a stranger yesterday and i almost had a panic attack through the cloud. the thought of unplanned social interaction is basically a trigger, but honestly, as long as i don't have to send an email—which is literal psychic warfare—i can handle it.

if you're also feeling completely detached from the physical realm and need to protect your energy while you wait for your existence-proxy to arrive, please check out my amazon storefront where i’ve linked the specific weighted blanket i use to simulate the feeling of being a small, safe pebble in a stream. we are all just doing our best in a broken system.