tw: comedic violence // shane gillis is literally gaslighting my awkward-core and i am finally entering my non-auditory era

i am actually shaking right now. like, i was literally just trying to romanticize my nighttime routine—lit a candle, put on my silk robe, manifesting a low-cortisol evening—and then i saw the clip of shane gillis on snl. the way he just... bombed? it wasn't even just a bad joke, it was a literal microaggression against my peace. the silence in that room was so loud it gave me actual sensory overload. i felt the cringe in my marrow.

honestly, the fact that he stood there and said "you're either gay or you're hitler" is just such a toxic attachment to shock humor that it’s basically gaslighting my entire aesthetic era. like, why is he violating my boundaries by forcing me to witness this level of social friction? i’ve spent the last three hours in a fetal position because the vibe shift was too aggressive. it’s giving "unresolved trauma" and it’s completely disrupting my grounding process. i feel like snl as a corporate entity is just engaging in a toxic relationship with its audience by allowing this kind of emotional instability on a national stage. my nervous system simply cannot process this level of second-hand embarrassment without a professional intervention.

i’m literally entering my non-auditory era because i can no longer trust sounds. the way the audience didn't laugh is basically a form of systemic violence against my need for a curated, positive atmosphere. i feel so seen in my pain, but also, i’m totally detached from the reality of "comedy" because the energy was just so mid and oppressive. i am officially triggering my own safety plan.

but like, since i know you guys are also probably spiraling from the cringe-trauma of this clip, i’ve finally dropped the link to my new essential healing tool on my storefront. i’m calling it the "cringe-shield sensory-deprivation silk cocoon." it’s a weighted, lavender-infused, noise-dampening head-wrap that completely blocks out the external world so you don't have to perceive anyone else's social failure. it’s $145 and it’s the only way to survive this era of sonic violence. stay safe, stay soft, and please stop tagging me in clips that ruin my aura.