tw: emotional labor // spotify just launched 'proxy-listening' and i am finally entering my sensory-void era

i literally cannot even begin to describe the level of cortisol spiking in my system just thinking about the act of listening to a song. like, why is music so demanding? the cognitive load of processing a bridge or—heaven forbid—a beat drop is actually a form of systemic violence against my nervous system. i’ve been in a state of perpetual burnout just trying to curate a playlist that accurately reflects my current level of dissociation, and honestly, the economy is too toxic for me to be spending this much mental energy on 'art.'

which is why i am literally ascending because spotify just dropped 'proxy-listening.' basically, you can now assign an ai emotional surrogate to listen to your music for you. it processes all the sonic frequencies, feels all the yearning and heartbreak and existential dread, and then sends you a brief, low-stim summary of how the song felt so you don't have to actually experience the trauma of auditory input. i’ve already set my proxy to 'deeply anxious but aesthetic' and i can finally just sit here in total silence while knowing that someone (or something) is doing the heavy lifting of being a fan.

trying to actually pay attention to lyrics feels like 'hard work' and i honestly need a trigger warning before anyone suggests that i should 'engage' with my media. engagement is a capitalist trap designed to drain our remaining spoons. why would i want to feel the raw emotion of a song when i can just read a notification that says 'this track was very melancholic, you're welcome'? it's the only way to survive in this late-stage nightmare.

if you’re also struggling with the violence of existing in a physical body, you literally need this weighted sensory blanket from my amazon storefront [link] because it's the only thing keeping me grounded while i outsource my personality to an algorithm.

i'm just so tired of the expectation that we should 'experience' things. experience is exhausting. i am officially entering my sensory-void era where i exist as a series of curated vibes without the actual effort of feeling them. if you try to email me about this, please know that sending an email is literal violence and i will be blocking you for the sake of my mental hygiene.