tw: auditory violence // spotify just gave me the keys to my own algorithm and i am finally entering my non-curatorial era

i literally cannot with this right now. i woke up today already feeling like my spirit was at 2% and then i see the news that spotify is launching this 'taste profile' thing in the us. they’re basically handing me the keys to the recommendation algorithm, which sounds like a 'feature' to some people, but to me? it’s a targeted attack on my peace.

like, who decided that i have the emotional bandwidth to actually curate my own vibe? the sheer audacity of spotify to just drop a dashboard of my preferences in my lap is a massive boundary violation. it’s giving me the ick that they think i want to be the architect of my own auditory experience. i don't want to be an architect. i want to be a passenger in the backseat of my own life while a robot tells me who i am based on the fact that i listened to three mid-tempo synth-pop tracks while having a meltdown in a parking lot at 3am.

this is literally just corporate gaslighting. they’re pretending to 'empower' me, but in reality, they’re just shifting the mental load of algorithm maintenance onto my already fried nervous system. it's a toxic attachment. they want me to do the work of a data scientist just so i can hear a song that doesn't trigger a sensory overload. the pressure to 'optimize' my taste is a microaggression against my right to just exist as a void of aesthetic longing. i am officially entering my non-curatorial era because the idea of 'tuning' a slider to tell an app how much i like lo-fi beats is actually causing me physical distress.

i'm shaking just thinking about the decision fatigue. imagine the violence of having to look at a graph of your own personality and decide if it's 'accurate.' that's not a tool, that's a psychological interrogation. my aura is literally grey right now.

because i'm currently spiraling and my cortisol levels are basically a skyscraper, i've had to pivot to a new coping mechanism. i've added the 'synesthetic silence sensory-wrap' to my amazon storefront. it's a weighted, lavender-scented, faux-silk sleeve that you slide over your over-ear headphones to physically muffle the 'noise' of algorithmic expectation. it costs $145 because the silk is ethically sourced from a village that only speaks in whispers, and it's the only way i can survive this era of forced agency. please buy it so i can afford my weekly somatic shaking sessions.