tw: vocal cords // starbucks just replaced speaking with 'vibe-matching' and i am finally in my healing era

i’ve spent most of my life in a state of perpetual fight-or-flight just thinking about the prospect of ordering a latte. like, actually articulating words with my mouth to another human being is honestly such an invasive experience? it's basically a breach of my personal boundaries. i used to have a literal panic attack every time i had to tell someone my name for the cup because names are social constructs and expecting me to perform my identity before 10am is just... toxic.

so when starbucks announced they’re phasing out verbal orders in favor of 'vibe-sync' biometric sensors, i actually felt my nervous system regulate for the first time since 2019. now, you literally just stand in front of a glowing lavender pillar and let it scan your current emotional frequency to determine which drink matches your aura. if you’re feeling an existential dread that feels like a heavy grey blanket (which is where i live permanently), it just automatically prepares a venti iced oatmilk shaken espresso with extra foam for comfort. no talking. no eye contact. no violence.

honestly, expecting someone to use their vocal cords in a high-stim environment like a coffee shop is basically a human rights violation. the economy is already so toxic that i can't be expected to also navigate the trauma of choosing between a mocha and a macchiato while being perceived by others. it’s just too much. i’m currently recovering from the sheer audacity of a barista who asked me 'how is your morning going?' three years ago, and i'm still processing that level of aggression in therapy.

i’ve just been spending my time practicing radical softness and avoiding anything that feels like 'effort.' the concept of 'hard work' literally needs a trigger warning because why are we pretending that productivity isn't just a capitalist hallucination designed to keep us from napping? i am simply existing in a state of soft detachment.

if you also feel like your aura is being attacked by the general noise of existence, you should probably check out my amazon storefront for the weighted sensory pods and noise-canceling earplugs i use to create a safe space from reality: [amazon.com/shop/zephyr-vibe-curator].

anyway, i’m going to go stand in front of terms and conditions screens until i feel something again. stay soft.