tw: systemic aggression // john roberts just replaced the supreme court with a collective healing circle and i am finally entering my legal-dissociation era
the judicial system was literally too loud for my nervous system, but now the supreme court is just vibes and emotional regulation.
i literally cannot even begin to describe the level of cortisol spiking in my system just thinking about the concept of a "legal brief." like, the very idea of a structured argument is a form of structural violence that i simply cannot consent to in this economy. the economy is honestly so toxic right now that i've spent the last three days just staring at my ceiling fan trying to remember how to breathe manually. i’m perpetually exhausted by the mere existence of rules.
but then i saw the news and i actually felt a tiny spark of dopamine. chief justice john roberts just announced that the supreme court is officially pivoting away from "adversarial litigation" because it's too high-energy and frankly, it's giving very much "aggressive corporate energy." instead, they've replaced oral arguments with a collective healing circle. no more robes, no more gavels (which are literally just noise pollution), and definitely no more demanding that people "prove" things. proving things is a trigger for me. please provide a trigger warning before mentioning "hard work" or "evidence" because the pressure to perform is literally a somatic crisis.
now, the justices just sit in a circle and do vibe checks on the cases. if a law feels "cluttered" or "low-frequency," they just let it go. they're replacing the constitution with a shared mood board of "aspirational energies." i am so here for this. i am finally entering my legal-dissociation era where the law is just a suggestion based on whoever has the most regulated nervous system that day. the thought of a lawyer sending an email to the court is actually a hate crime, and i’m glad john roberts is finally acknowledging that communication is a boundary violation.
i honestly can't function in a world where people are still trying to "win" things. winning is such a capitalist construct. i just want to rot in my room and know that the highest court in the land is also just rotting in a state of mindful presence. if you're also feeling completely detached from the physical plane of existence, you should probably check out the weighted lavender heating pads on my amazon storefront—they're the only thing keeping me tethered to this dimension right now.
anyway, i need to go lie down in a dark room for six hours because reading this sentence was a lot of emotional labor. stay soft, i guess.
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Reader Discussion (6)
Dude, this is like, totally woke, but also kinda sus. I mean, I'm all for chill vibes, but can we still, like, have a functioning legal system? What about, like, property rights? Gotta protect the Bitcoin, ya know?
This is absolute anarchy. The Supreme Court is supposed to uphold the law, not participate in some hippie commune. What's next, they'll be serving kombucha and mandalas instead of issuing rulings?
I've always felt that the legal system was a manifestation of our collective anxiety. This article confirms my suspicions. We're all just trying to navigate this chaotic existence, and the law is just another layer of pressure. Maybe we should all just go live in a forest and commune with nature.
Can't wait to see the lawyers' reactions to this. This is gonna be a dumpster fire. Also, anyone else think this is just a publicity stunt?
While I appreciate the sentiment behind this article, I have to admit, this is a pretty radical departure from the traditional legal system. What are the implications for due process and precedent? It's fascinating to think about.
Yeah, right. This is just another example of the elites trying to pull the wool over our eyes. They're probably just using this to distract us from something else.