the who just declared 'bad vibes' a global health emergency and i'm literally dissociating

i am literally so overwhelmed i can barely form a thought rn. my nervous system is, like, completely dysregulated. dr. tedros adhanom ghebreyesus, who i guess is the main character of the world health organization, just went on live television from geneva and basically said that 'rapid onset vibe contagion'—or rovc—is now being treated as a global public health crisis. and like, yes. this is what we've been screaming into the void about for years. the vibes have been fundamentally off for a while now and it's exhausting to be the only one noticing.

he said, in the most boomer voice ever, that rovc is a 'somatic response to acute atmospheric negativity' transmitted through 'uncomfy eye contact, weaponized incompetence, and weaponized silences in group chats.' i'm paraphrasing but that was the energy. he announced a whole new color-coded alert system. it's not terror alerts, it's vibe alerts. code mauve means the general vibe is 'passive-aggressive with a chance of gaslighting.' code chartreuse means things are 'terminally cringe.' apparently most of western europe has been downgraded to chartreuse after a particularly bad season of eurovision.

this is literally so validating but also the emotional labor of tracking the global vibe forecast? i can't. my therapist says i don't have the bandwidth and she's right. it's already so much work just to curate your own personal algorithm and now i have to worry about entire continents having a toxic attachment style? it's too much.

to protect my own fragile energy field from the global vibe collapse, i've just been cocooning in my weighted blanket between zoom therapy sessions. it's honestly the only thing holding my atoms together and giving me a sense of somatic safety rn. i linked the one that gives me the safest vibes in my storefront if you're also feeling like you might just float away.

the international monetary fund is apparently putting together a bailout package for countries suffering from 'chronic energetic debt.' the head of the imf, kristalina georgieva, said they're working to 'stabilize the vibes in emerging markets,' which feels like a macro-level version of your friend telling you to just try yoga when you're in a depressive episode. thanks, i guess?

idk. i guess it's good that the people in charge are finally admitting that the vibes are in retrograde, but also this is a lot to process. pls be gentle with yourselves and each other. the collective aura is literally so fragile rn.