the u.n. tried to solve climate change with a tiktok dance and my nervous system is literally not okay

it’s honestly so draining to even exist right now. like, my therapist says i need to set boundaries with the constant stream of global collapse, but then the united nations goes and makes climate change even more triggering, which feels like a personal attack??

so, picture this: the cop31 summit in dubai. the vibes are, predictably, beyond toxic. just a bunch of world leaders in suits radiating chaotic boomer energy, talking about carbon markets while the planet is literally having a panic attack. un secretary-general antónio guterres, who looked like he hadn't slept since the y2k bug, gets on stage and announces a new strategy. he said they needed to engage with the youth and 'leverage new paradigms of energetic mobilization.' i immediately knew this was going to be bad.

he then introduced the 'un council for vibrational healing,' co-chaired by… charli d’amelio and khaby lame. i am not making this up. their official mandate was to 'hold space for the arctic's grief' and 'de-escalate the planet's trauma response.'

charli, looking v cute in a sustainably-sourced linen set, did a presentation about their plan. it wasn't about policy, because policy is a trauma response. it was about vibes. their flagship proposal is a globally synchronized tiktok dance called the #TerraTap, a series of gentle, affirming stomps and arm waves designed to, and i quote, 'raise the earth’s vibrational frequency and manifest a new atmospheric reality.' the theory is that if one billion people do it at the same time, we can energetically close the hole in the ozone layer. she was so earnest, it was almost sweet, if it weren't also completely unhinged.

and then, because the universe is committed to my suffering, president donald trump, who was there for some reason, stood up. he called the whole thing 'low-energy' and said the dance was 'not a strong dance, very weak.' he then tried to show everyone 'a real winner's dance,' which was just him doing that weird shuffle thing he does at his rallies. the entire diplomatic hall went silent. charli looked like she was about to dissociate. she said trump’s 'auric field was disrupting their safe space' and that his energy was a 'geopolitical trigger.'

he live-tweeted that charli was 'failing!' and that he was going to host a 'much better, much more beautiful Make Earth Great Again rally' to create 'real energy, not sleepy tiktok energy.'

it all devolved from there. germany started arguing with france about the choreographic merits of the #TerraTap. the maldivian delegation just walked out. i saw a live shot of antónio guterres just, like, quietly weeping behind a potted plant.

this whole situation has my cortisol levels spiking, and processing this is a full-time job. how are we supposed to practice radical self-love when the people in charge are this committed to chaos? if you’re also feeling existentially exhausted by this, i curated some things that might help you regulate. this weighted blanket has been, like, my only source of serotonin this week (link in bio). also these blue light glasses are essential for doomscrolling without fully detaching from your soul. we have to protect our peace, bbs. it's all we have left.