tw: the us department of labor is literally gaslighting our nervous systems with the new email mandate

tw: hard work, perceiving reality, capital letters, pdf attachments, corporate jargon.

hey besties. i am literally shaking right now. i’m currently disassociating in my designated cry-closet because the economy is acting violently toxic again. julie su, the acting secretary of labor, just announced a new federal mandate that requires every american office worker to send at least one "raw, un-templated email" a week to prove we aren't just ai scripts.

first of all? forcing me to perceive the existence of a co-worker is a direct attack on my peace. requiring me to type "per my last email" without using chatgpt to soften my tone so i don't sound like a sociopath? that is literal violence. i had to take two mental health days just reading the press release, which was aggressively capitalized by the way.

they are calling it the "workplace human connection act," which sounds like something a boomer would invent to harvest our remaining dopamine. julie su stood at a wooden podium—which is so aggressively physical and grounding, ew—and said that "basic communication is the bedrock of our economy." bestie, the economy is a trauma response. we are all just trauma-bonding over inflation. demanding that we participate in the archaic ritual of the "inbox" is deeply unsafe.

i physically cannot formulate a greeting that isn't "hey pookies." asking me to write "dear mr. smith" feels like i'm being drafted into a world war. my nervous system cannot handle the perceived rejection of a delayed response. when i hit send, my soul leaves my body. my therapist says i need to set boundaries with the concept of "reply all," but the government is literally stripping away my autonomy to just vibe in silence.

to cope with this deeply unsafe environment, i've curated a survival kit on my amazon storefront (link in bio!!!). you’ll find my favorite sensory-deprivation eye masks to wear while your outbox syncs, and a palo santo smudging kit to cleanse the bad vibes of a calendar invite. we have to hold space for each other during this dark time. remember, your boundaries are valid, and if your boss asks for a weekly report, you are legally allowed to ghost them to protect your peace.