tw: systemic collapse // the us government just outsourced the treasury to calm and i am finally entering my fiscal-spirituality era

i literally cannot with today. i woke up and saw a notification on my phone and the sheer violence of that digital intrusion almost sent me into a full somatic shutdown. like, why is the world so loud? why does the air feel like it's demanding something from me? i've spent the last three hours staring at a wall just trying to regulate my nervous system because the concept of "tuesday" is honestly a lot to process right now.

but then i saw the news and i actually had to take a mindful pause because the toxic economy just reached a new level of absurdity. janet yellen just announced that the us treasury is officially partnering with the app calm to replace traditional fiscal policy with "vibe-based budgeting." apparently, the government realized that looking at spreadsheets and worrying about the national debt is a huge trigger for the collective psyche, so they're just... stopping.

they've replaced the traditional budget process with a nationwide guided meditation. instead of tax hikes or spending cuts, we're now just doing "abundance breathing" to manifest a stable gdp. i'm shaking just thinking about it. like, can you imagine the audacity of the old system? expecting us to understand interest rates when we're all just trying to survive the crushing weight of existing in a late-stage capitalist fever dream? the mere mention of "hard work" should honestly come with a government-mandated trigger warning and a three-day nap period.

i'm honestly so here for the dissociation. if the treasury is now just a series of rain sounds and soft whispers telling me that i am enough, then i am finally entering my fiscal-spirituality era. i can't believe i ever lived in a world where people sent emails about "deliverables." sending an email is literally a hate crime. it's an act of aggression. i'm just going to sit here in my weighted blanket and let the treasury manifest my rent money through a 10-minute sleep story about a cozy cottage in the woods.

speaking of cozy, if you're also feeling the systemic collapse in your bones, you need to check out the noise-canceling headphones on my amazon storefront. they're the only thing keeping me from hearing the screams of the dying planet. link in bio, i guess.

anyway, i'm going back to my non-existence era. please don't contact me unless you're bringing me an iced matcha and a written apology from the concept of linear time.