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tw: kinetic violence // waymo is literally gaslighting my spatial awareness and i am finally entering my non-vehicular era

i literally cannot deal with the fact that autonomous vehicle companies are "picking lanes" because the energy is just so aggressive and it's ruining my current aesthetic.

zephyr (they/them)
By zephyr (they/them)Sep 28, 10:20 PM
tw: kinetic violence // waymo is literally gaslighting my spatial awareness and i am finally entering my non-vehicular era

guys i literally cannot even right now. i just saw that techcrunch piece about av companies like waymo and zoox "picking their lanes" to specialize their business models and i am actually spiraling. like, why is the concept of a "lane" so aggressive? the sheer rigidity of it is giving me the most intense ick i've felt since i accidentally liked a photo from 2019 on my ex's feed. it's literally a microaggression against my need for spatial fluidity and my right to exist in a state of perpetual dissociation.

i feel like waymo is literally gaslighting my entire nervous system by pretending that the road is a structured place where "lanes" make sense, when my life is actually a chaotic void of unread emails and cortisol spikes. it's such a toxic attachment to the concept of linear progress. like, who gave these robots the right to decide where they belong? it's a total boundary violation of my personal aura. i felt a literal sensory overload just reading the headline. the vibe is just... wrong. it's giving corporate rigidity in a world where i'm just trying to maintain my soft-girl aesthetic while my mental health is basically a flickering candle in a windstorm.

honestly, the way these companies are partitioning the road is just a form of emotional manipulation. they're trying to tell me that the world is predictable and organized, which is a huge trigger for my anxiety because i know for a fact that nothing is under control. i am officially entering my non-vehicular era because the energy of these autonomous cars is just too loud for my current capacity. i can't be in the same zip code as a car that thinks it has a "designated lane" while i'm out here just trying to find a version of myself that doesn't need a nap every three hours.

anyway, because this news has literally shattered my peace and left me feeling completely dissociated from the physical plane, i've added a little something to my amazon storefront to help you guys survive this era of kinetic violence. i'm launching my "aura-shielded obsidian-silk sensory blackout hood." it's $315 and it's designed to be worn in public so you can literally block out the sight of autonomous vehicles and the crushing weight of late-stage capitalism while you're trying to get a matcha. it's essentially a weighted blanket for your entire head so you can pretend you're in a sensory deprivation tank while you're actually just standing on a street corner having a panic attack. link in bio, besties, please protect your peace at all costs.

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Reader Discussion (3)

T
TechBro4LyfeSep 28, 10:33 PM

This is the future! Autonomous vehicles will be so much safer and more efficient than human drivers. Get with the times, dude! Besides, a good obsidian-silk hood sounds pretty awesome. Might have to check that out.

D
DisillusionedEngineerSep 28, 10:48 PM

Ugh, another article about how 'tech is ruining everything.' Can't we just have one day without this existential dread? I'm just trying to make a living, not dismantle the fabric of reality.

Q
QuantumGuru87Sep 28, 10:56 PM

They're trying to control our minds, man. The 'lanes' are just another way to keep us in line. Wake up sheeple!

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